Every one of us quickly learns to cope with the reality of the world we find ourselves in as it presents itself to us. Every single child sitting inside the 'world' of the modern classroom very quickly learns the 'rules' and how to survive inside those 'rules.'
The largest element in a child's mind and heart in that environment is being surrounded by and growing up with a large number of kids all the same age.
That large group of kids all the same age is almost everything inside the mind and heart of a child who doesn't understand life, but who must cope with what is thrown at him or her.
Let's explore that environment a little bit.
First, that group of peers is everything to the child. To fit into and be accepted by the peer group is everything. These are the ones who will mock you without end if you don't fit. Out of that peer group evolves a set of rules of conduct and appearance. The peer group evolves a value system and a hierarchy of influence or pecking order.
I teach 8th through 12th graders, so I can only speak directly of that age group. But at the high school level, the adherence to and enforcement of peer group rules is absolute. Those rare and occasional individuals who refuse the group rules are universally despised and fiercely attacked. In return, these occasional individuals become bitter and hard and obnoxious to everyone.
Second, the teacher is the only adult in the room. Teaching is basically an isolated and lonely occupation. Behind the teacher the principal looms in the background as a threat. However, the teacher, far removed from the age level of the group imposes a set of 'rules' at great odds with the large body of rules established by the group. The group's rules are real-world; the teacher's rules are an imposed construction that have validity only for 'someday.' This makes the teacher and the authority behind the teacher as the opponent and so the group develops a set of rules and procedures on how to wage war against and to neutralize the teacher's rules as much as possible.
Inside this great clash of 'rule' groups, the winner is never the teacher nor is it the average child. You walk into a classroom as an adult and see a teacher who is either presenting a well-ordered and interesting lesson, or a teacher who imposes the teacher rules by brute force and meanness and you will make the judgment that the teacher rules are winning the day. You would be completely wrong. We are looking here at the actual world the child must learn to navigate. It's not what the adult 'sees.'
The winners in this clash of rule groups are the psychopaths - those members of the group who don't care what anyone thinks of them. These include, especially, those individuals who are without a conscience, who do not see other people in their world as anything but objects to manipulate and control. These individuals get their energy from dominating and using other people.
I see them all the time working inside each classroom. They don't necessarily have to be bullies, either. Oftentimes they are well-liked. But in two different scenarios you see their true colors. One is when something unusual happens in the classroom. It's amazing to watch. Instantly, the eyes of every average child in the room goes straight to that controlling individual to see how that person reacts, so that everyone knows themselves, how they also should react. The other scenario is when this controlling individual is nailed for his bad behavior. Oh my! I need say nothing more.
And it is inside this artificially created 'gang' style environment that we place our children all the days of their lives. We foolishly tell our children to "do what the teacher says and learn all you can," advice which the child cannot understand because it has no relationship with the difficult world they must navigate everyday.
An artificially created world that has no relationship to reality.
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Edited
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